Free starter list
Green, yellow, and red flags in dating
Most people can name a red flag afterwards. The hard part is naming it while you're still interested. Use this as a starting point, then make it yours — your list matters more than anyone else's.
Green flags
Signs that the way this person treats you is worth more of your time.
We laugh easily together
Conversation flows naturally
I'm attracted to them
Has a clean and tidy home
Loves cooking
Makes plans and follows through
Is chivalrous and thoughtful
Handles disagreements calmly
Is emotionally steady
Respects my alone time
Is kind to strangers
Is financially responsible
Has healthy friendships
Encourages my goals
Silence feels comfortable between us
Yellow flags
Not dealbreakers on their own — but worth naming out loud and watching over a few dates.
Their communication feels inconsistent
They say they're busy a lot
They avoid deeper conversations
They're hard to read emotionally
They take a long time to follow through
They talk negatively about most exes
They seem guarded or closed off
They have very little free time
It feels hot-and-cold
They struggle to talk about feelings
They're often unsure about what they want
They need frequent reassurance
They prioritize work over everything
They avoid conflict altogether
I feel slightly anxious after seeing them
Red flags
The ones you tend to explain away in the moment. Decide about these before you're attached.
They disrespect my boundaries
They make me feel confused or small
They avoid accountability
They get defensive instead of reflective
They pressure me emotionally or physically
They lie or withhold important information
They speak cruelly about past partners
They blame others for everything
They dismiss my feelings
Their anger feels unpredictable
They show jealous or controlling behavior
I feel anxious or unsettled around them
I don't feel emotionally safe with them
A list only helps if you actually use it
In Greenlights, an AI coach walks you through your own flags, sets a pace for how fast things move, and helps you debrief each date while it's fresh. Private to you, free to use.